Saturday, January 15, 2011
Sex Life...
So yeah, to sum up my last rambling post, no sex outside my marriage since BEFORE CHRISTMAS! Record for me. And I'm okay with that. I'm busy putting my life in perspective right now. So bite me.
Holy Harassment Batman!
Someone is desperate for a blog update. I have no idea who. And I have no idea why. It's quite amusing, since my life is actually boring lately. So I will be sadly disappointing all of you if you are hoping to hear about a lot of dirty sex. Because there hasn't been any. And for that, I blame Twitter. And the one that has stolen my heart.
BUT the men are still around. Once again, I DON'T GET IT! They keep coming back. Or if I try to end things, they won't let me!
My youngin' - still totally sweet. Haven't seen him since before Xmas. And we talk a lot less often. And that is because of me. Well because of Twitter. I have no time for anything in my life because of Twitter ;). I sent him an email the other day, telling him to move on, find someone else, since we don't seem to be working. He replied by saying no, that I was "perfect" for him and he'd wait for me. Arrrgggh! Wait for what?!?!?!?!
Who else. Oh ok. A2 - an ex. The one who isn't local, but is going to be in town at the end of January. I came right out and said that I wasn't comfortable "getting back together", since the timing of his request is very suspcious, seeing that he's in town and probably just wants to get laid again. He was upset by that, but said that my concerns are "fair". Ummm yeah, you think? After last time? That's a whole other story. For another day! He wants me to at least meet him for coffee when he's in town. He's away this week, so I'll decide whether or not I even want coffee with him. He's a very nice guy, but we're very different. He's SUPER religious, ironically enough, for one. Makes him feel guilty for cheating. Very easily. Another big difference between us LOL!
M - sweet M. We talk often, but I've told him I'm not ready to see him. He knows that. And is being patient. He wants to just go out for coffee or lunch soon. I don't know because I'm sure he'll expect more. Or want more. And my heart just isn't there right now.
J - another ex. He wants me to go away with him this summer to Montreal for the weekend for some concert. Ummm it's January! And how he'd get away from his wife for a weekend, that I just can't see.
B - the one night stand that hasn't given up, STILL hasn't given up. He messages me almost daily to tell me to have a good day, or tell me that he's thinking about me, or that I'm beautiful, etc. He's a hard one. He won't give up. When we did talk around the time we had sex, like TWO FUCKING YEARS AGO, it was ONLY about sex. And i'm not looking for JUST sex. I wanted to be able to talk about our lives to, to have a "relationship". So that's why I didn't see him again. And he knows that. So this is why he's trying hard, to do things the right way. But I'm not sure there is enough of an attraction there either, on my part.
Oh and last but not least, is the other M, my most recent ex. Him I did NOT expect to hear from again. We had a hardcore connection, him and I. And with that passion, there was fighting at the end. Our last couple of conversations were not that good. So when I get the chat messages the other day from him, I almost fell off my chair. He said that he missed me, that his life is not the same without me. He wants to try things again. We haven't really had the time to have that chat, but I'm definitely playing it cool. I'm not sure what to think.
And then there is the one who has stolen my heart... him I have trouble even talking about. In a good way. More about him later, since he's annoyed I'm not paying enough attention to him right now. LOL!
Really - how do I get rid of them all??????? My problem is that I am not straight-forward enough with them. It's not that I'm dishonest, I just honestly do love the attention. It's fantastic for the ego (especially after I stepped on the fucking scale today!!!!! Arrrgghhhh!).
That was a rhetorical question though. I do know what I need to do. But you all know that I'm an attention whore. Can I give up that attention? Do I worry that attention will hurt someone else? Of course.
And I've come to realize that my whole secretlife has a lot to do with the ego boost, the attention I get. That's just the start of it though, since feelings develop. I'm only human! And then I find the emotional part that I'm missing at home. And it makes me super happy.
We all need to find what we are missing. We all do it in different ways.
Enough rambling for today.
BUT the men are still around. Once again, I DON'T GET IT! They keep coming back. Or if I try to end things, they won't let me!
My youngin' - still totally sweet. Haven't seen him since before Xmas. And we talk a lot less often. And that is because of me. Well because of Twitter. I have no time for anything in my life because of Twitter ;). I sent him an email the other day, telling him to move on, find someone else, since we don't seem to be working. He replied by saying no, that I was "perfect" for him and he'd wait for me. Arrrgggh! Wait for what?!?!?!?!
Who else. Oh ok. A2 - an ex. The one who isn't local, but is going to be in town at the end of January. I came right out and said that I wasn't comfortable "getting back together", since the timing of his request is very suspcious, seeing that he's in town and probably just wants to get laid again. He was upset by that, but said that my concerns are "fair". Ummm yeah, you think? After last time? That's a whole other story. For another day! He wants me to at least meet him for coffee when he's in town. He's away this week, so I'll decide whether or not I even want coffee with him. He's a very nice guy, but we're very different. He's SUPER religious, ironically enough, for one. Makes him feel guilty for cheating. Very easily. Another big difference between us LOL!
M - sweet M. We talk often, but I've told him I'm not ready to see him. He knows that. And is being patient. He wants to just go out for coffee or lunch soon. I don't know because I'm sure he'll expect more. Or want more. And my heart just isn't there right now.
J - another ex. He wants me to go away with him this summer to Montreal for the weekend for some concert. Ummm it's January! And how he'd get away from his wife for a weekend, that I just can't see.
B - the one night stand that hasn't given up, STILL hasn't given up. He messages me almost daily to tell me to have a good day, or tell me that he's thinking about me, or that I'm beautiful, etc. He's a hard one. He won't give up. When we did talk around the time we had sex, like TWO FUCKING YEARS AGO, it was ONLY about sex. And i'm not looking for JUST sex. I wanted to be able to talk about our lives to, to have a "relationship". So that's why I didn't see him again. And he knows that. So this is why he's trying hard, to do things the right way. But I'm not sure there is enough of an attraction there either, on my part.
Oh and last but not least, is the other M, my most recent ex. Him I did NOT expect to hear from again. We had a hardcore connection, him and I. And with that passion, there was fighting at the end. Our last couple of conversations were not that good. So when I get the chat messages the other day from him, I almost fell off my chair. He said that he missed me, that his life is not the same without me. He wants to try things again. We haven't really had the time to have that chat, but I'm definitely playing it cool. I'm not sure what to think.
And then there is the one who has stolen my heart... him I have trouble even talking about. In a good way. More about him later, since he's annoyed I'm not paying enough attention to him right now. LOL!
Really - how do I get rid of them all??????? My problem is that I am not straight-forward enough with them. It's not that I'm dishonest, I just honestly do love the attention. It's fantastic for the ego (especially after I stepped on the fucking scale today!!!!! Arrrgghhhh!).
That was a rhetorical question though. I do know what I need to do. But you all know that I'm an attention whore. Can I give up that attention? Do I worry that attention will hurt someone else? Of course.
And I've come to realize that my whole secretlife has a lot to do with the ego boost, the attention I get. That's just the start of it though, since feelings develop. I'm only human! And then I find the emotional part that I'm missing at home. And it makes me super happy.
We all need to find what we are missing. We all do it in different ways.
Enough rambling for today.
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