Thursday, December 23, 2010
Complicated...
My "love" life or should I say "lust life" has gotten confusing again.
Well the guy who I accidentally sent pics to and corresponded with, whose wife became "ok" with him and I, is gone. Excuse the run on sentence! The fact that his wife knew was too much for me. I'd rather the excitement of both sneaking around! So I kicked that one to the curb.
So the complications arise with the fact that three, actually four men from my past have recently come back into my life unexpectedly. I seriously don't get it! I act cocky and am confident, but honestly, I'm not sure what brings them back.
B - the one night stand I had two years ago is STILL emailing me, wanting me back. He gave up eventually a few weeks ago since I hadn't responded to his emails. Wished me the best, said he gave up. But being the attention whore that I am, I responded to that email. Which of course encouraged him and he's back at it. The reason I never pursued anything with him after we fucked is that it was ALL about sex. And I want.. No, I need.. more than just sex. I need an emotional connection. He said he couldn't give me that. So we fucked and I told him I didn't want to see him again. Now he's telling me that he wants to do it "right" this time. I admit that I love the attention.
Then there is J, who I actually never met. We met online and had a fantastic connection. Never met because of distance. Eventually things fizzled out because of the distance (about 1 1/2 hours away). He emailed two days ago, saying he missed me and can't stop thinking about me. He wants to try things again.
Next is A. We will call him A2. He lives in Ottawa but the head office of his work is in my city so he's here fairly often. We had a good connection, fantastic sex. Then he felt guilty. And that ended. He also wants to try again. Although only because he's in town at the end of January. He wants to get laid again by me. He denies this, saying it's ME he missed. But I wasn't born yesterday!
And lastly, there is M. Things with him were incredible, we were together awhile. He wants me back. Him I'm not sure I can resist him.
I have to remember though that these relationships ended for a reason, whether I ended it or them. And ultimately it was for the best.
Well the guy who I accidentally sent pics to and corresponded with, whose wife became "ok" with him and I, is gone. Excuse the run on sentence! The fact that his wife knew was too much for me. I'd rather the excitement of both sneaking around! So I kicked that one to the curb.
So the complications arise with the fact that three, actually four men from my past have recently come back into my life unexpectedly. I seriously don't get it! I act cocky and am confident, but honestly, I'm not sure what brings them back.
B - the one night stand I had two years ago is STILL emailing me, wanting me back. He gave up eventually a few weeks ago since I hadn't responded to his emails. Wished me the best, said he gave up. But being the attention whore that I am, I responded to that email. Which of course encouraged him and he's back at it. The reason I never pursued anything with him after we fucked is that it was ALL about sex. And I want.. No, I need.. more than just sex. I need an emotional connection. He said he couldn't give me that. So we fucked and I told him I didn't want to see him again. Now he's telling me that he wants to do it "right" this time. I admit that I love the attention.
Then there is J, who I actually never met. We met online and had a fantastic connection. Never met because of distance. Eventually things fizzled out because of the distance (about 1 1/2 hours away). He emailed two days ago, saying he missed me and can't stop thinking about me. He wants to try things again.
Next is A. We will call him A2. He lives in Ottawa but the head office of his work is in my city so he's here fairly often. We had a good connection, fantastic sex. Then he felt guilty. And that ended. He also wants to try again. Although only because he's in town at the end of January. He wants to get laid again by me. He denies this, saying it's ME he missed. But I wasn't born yesterday!
And lastly, there is M. Things with him were incredible, we were together awhile. He wants me back. Him I'm not sure I can resist him.
I have to remember though that these relationships ended for a reason, whether I ended it or them. And ultimately it was for the best.
Monday, December 13, 2010
The Stakes Have Changed...
with A. Hadn't heard from him for a couple of days, which totally isn't like him. So I emailed to say hello. He responds by telling me that his wife found all of our emails and wasn't mad at all. Apparently she admitted to her own affair. I guess she met a guy online while looking for a woman. She she is still with this guy and has shown A action shots of him and her. She is totally fine with him and I continuing but wants to see pics of us together (no faces). So he's all excited because we can talk more.
But the stakes have changed. When I have an affair it's much easier and safer, IMO, with someone who has as much to lose as I do if we get caught. I guess it has its advantages too. More freedom on his part. And I bet if i would want a threesome, it would be easy.
But is it worth the risk. Is he worth the risk? Need to ponder.
But the stakes have changed. When I have an affair it's much easier and safer, IMO, with someone who has as much to lose as I do if we get caught. I guess it has its advantages too. More freedom on his part. And I bet if i would want a threesome, it would be easy.
But is it worth the risk. Is he worth the risk? Need to ponder.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
MySecretLife Update
So I'm sure you are all wondering where things stand with my OTHER men...
To be honest, I haven't seen them. Stuff with my mom has gotten in the way. And other stuff I don't feel like sharing at the moment.
Ex and I broke up a couple of weeks ago. Hadn't seen him in about a month or so.
The youngin' and I were supposed to get together Friday, but I didn't want to and cancelled. Haven't seen him in two weeks now. He's a sweetheart, this one. He's 29 and a genuinely good guy. Married only for 2 years. I told him he's in BIG trouble if he's cheating already :). We talk often and get along great. Sex with him is fantastic. But I cannot imagine falling in love with him. Great guy, but there just isn't that "spark" between us. At least I don't see it. I'm sure he does. LOL! Kidding.
A, the pics to the wrong email address guy (blogged about him in the past with that story) and I also talk often. Haven't met him. He keeps saying he wants to, that he thinks about me constantly, can't get me off his mind. That was his email today. Another sweet guy, who is fun, but any sparks? Not really.
I then have B - my first affair after my work guy. That sounds bad, like I've had a ton of affairs. Too many, but really not THAT many, relatively speaking ;). At least I'd like to think. Anyway - B. He was basically a one time thing. Good sex, but then I felt guilty. He was 2 years ago. He STILL wants me back. Every time I log onto my chat app, there are messages from him, saying that he'll keep trying to win me back. Usually I ignore him. The odd time I'll tell him to move on, but he keeps telling me that I'm "perfect". I just laugh. I am SO not perfect. He claims I am for him. Not sure what keeps him coming back to me. Maybe the sex was that good? I do give a good blow job apparently ;P.
That's it for the real life OTHER men. They aren't really even "real life" since I'm really just chatting online with them. And for now, that's fine.
To be honest, I haven't seen them. Stuff with my mom has gotten in the way. And other stuff I don't feel like sharing at the moment.
Ex and I broke up a couple of weeks ago. Hadn't seen him in about a month or so.
The youngin' and I were supposed to get together Friday, but I didn't want to and cancelled. Haven't seen him in two weeks now. He's a sweetheart, this one. He's 29 and a genuinely good guy. Married only for 2 years. I told him he's in BIG trouble if he's cheating already :). We talk often and get along great. Sex with him is fantastic. But I cannot imagine falling in love with him. Great guy, but there just isn't that "spark" between us. At least I don't see it. I'm sure he does. LOL! Kidding.
A, the pics to the wrong email address guy (blogged about him in the past with that story) and I also talk often. Haven't met him. He keeps saying he wants to, that he thinks about me constantly, can't get me off his mind. That was his email today. Another sweet guy, who is fun, but any sparks? Not really.
I then have B - my first affair after my work guy. That sounds bad, like I've had a ton of affairs. Too many, but really not THAT many, relatively speaking ;). At least I'd like to think. Anyway - B. He was basically a one time thing. Good sex, but then I felt guilty. He was 2 years ago. He STILL wants me back. Every time I log onto my chat app, there are messages from him, saying that he'll keep trying to win me back. Usually I ignore him. The odd time I'll tell him to move on, but he keeps telling me that I'm "perfect". I just laugh. I am SO not perfect. He claims I am for him. Not sure what keeps him coming back to me. Maybe the sex was that good? I do give a good blow job apparently ;P.
That's it for the real life OTHER men. They aren't really even "real life" since I'm really just chatting online with them. And for now, that's fine.
The Perils of Twitter
So I joined Twitter at the end of October I have had my account suspended twice for my nipple licking avi pic.. damn you Twitter! So much for freedom of expression! I digress, bitching about that wasn't my point here. But I joined Twitter since I needed a break from real life. Facebook was boring the hell out of me because most of those people I really know. To those people, to my family and real life friends, I am a very different person.
I'm easy going but can also be a drama queen. I'm fun and funny, and people look at me like I'm the girl next door. I don't look like the slut I am (or pretend to be - you'll never know! ha!) on Twitter. My real life people would be shocked to see me here. Well most of them. My two best friends know how I am and love me for me. But the rest of the world judges. So I am who I am in real life. And I am who I am on Twitter. Does any of that even make sense?
So as I was saying, I joined Twitter for something "fun". And fun it's been. But holy crap, has it ever taken over my life. I am always on Twitter, checking it, being a smart ass, a slut, whatever I feel like being at the time. And my poor family gets no attention anymore! Oops! But as I've said before, it's time for ME to be happy and look after myself for once. I've been a wife and a mom for so long that I've lost myself. This is FOR ME!
I now feel like my real life is my break from Twitter.
I've met some wonderful people on Twitter, some who I genuinely care about. Others are fucking creeps. Most are perverted, and that's good, since I TOTALLY am. LOL! But that's ok. And there is a lot of drama on Twitter. Not just drama for me personally, but I've seen friends with broken hearts. It's easy to make a connection on line. It really is.
Can these connections make it and survive in person? Hard to say. There always seems to be distance involved in most of the "relationships" that I've developed and seen develop with other people. Are we different on Twitter than we are in real life? Probably. Twitter is a game for many.
My Twitter persona now is more me then it was a month ago. This is the real me. I'm a smart ass and I'm a huge flirt. When I make a connection with someone, it's for real. At least I think. And hope.
I really babble. Holy crap. In my mind I know what I want to say, but then I end up typing and it all just comes out. And I don't care ;). It's MY blog and I'll babble if I want. Live with it :).
I'm easy going but can also be a drama queen. I'm fun and funny, and people look at me like I'm the girl next door. I don't look like the slut I am (or pretend to be - you'll never know! ha!) on Twitter. My real life people would be shocked to see me here. Well most of them. My two best friends know how I am and love me for me. But the rest of the world judges. So I am who I am in real life. And I am who I am on Twitter. Does any of that even make sense?
So as I was saying, I joined Twitter for something "fun". And fun it's been. But holy crap, has it ever taken over my life. I am always on Twitter, checking it, being a smart ass, a slut, whatever I feel like being at the time. And my poor family gets no attention anymore! Oops! But as I've said before, it's time for ME to be happy and look after myself for once. I've been a wife and a mom for so long that I've lost myself. This is FOR ME!
I now feel like my real life is my break from Twitter.
I've met some wonderful people on Twitter, some who I genuinely care about. Others are fucking creeps. Most are perverted, and that's good, since I TOTALLY am. LOL! But that's ok. And there is a lot of drama on Twitter. Not just drama for me personally, but I've seen friends with broken hearts. It's easy to make a connection on line. It really is.
Can these connections make it and survive in person? Hard to say. There always seems to be distance involved in most of the "relationships" that I've developed and seen develop with other people. Are we different on Twitter than we are in real life? Probably. Twitter is a game for many.
My Twitter persona now is more me then it was a month ago. This is the real me. I'm a smart ass and I'm a huge flirt. When I make a connection with someone, it's for real. At least I think. And hope.
I really babble. Holy crap. In my mind I know what I want to say, but then I end up typing and it all just comes out. And I don't care ;). It's MY blog and I'll babble if I want. Live with it :).
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Life Can Be Hard...
So if you all were hoping to only read about my naughty escapades, you're out of luck! I'll be using this blog just to babble about life in general, anonymously of course. So I'll be complaining about my kids, husband, work I'm sure. So suck it up, buttercup!
Today I'm writing about my mom. She's my best friend. And she has terminal breast cancer. She was diagnosed about 7 years ago. Went through treatment. About two and a half years ago, the cancer spread to her spine and it became terminal. She's been stable ever since. Until last Friday. The cancer in the bones has spread. I know it could be worse and I'm lucky to have had this much time with her, but it makes me sad as hell. I can't imagine life without her. But I'm so happy she's gotten to know my kids and met my brother's baby. Who knows, she may end up living 20 more years. I'm trying to think positive. But god, it's hard.
Going to call my mom :).
Today I'm writing about my mom. She's my best friend. And she has terminal breast cancer. She was diagnosed about 7 years ago. Went through treatment. About two and a half years ago, the cancer spread to her spine and it became terminal. She's been stable ever since. Until last Friday. The cancer in the bones has spread. I know it could be worse and I'm lucky to have had this much time with her, but it makes me sad as hell. I can't imagine life without her. But I'm so happy she's gotten to know my kids and met my brother's baby. Who knows, she may end up living 20 more years. I'm trying to think positive. But god, it's hard.
Going to call my mom :).
Feeling conflicted
So I go through periods of my life when I say "fuck it, I've tried my best with my marriage, I have every right to be happy". And will meet someone. And I'm not sure if I've explained this before but when I sleep with someone else outside of my marriage, I need an emotional connection. I don't have sex just to have sex. That's easy to do. And sure, I have done it. It's just much more fulfilling to have that emotional connection.
But I digress.
Then things happen. Big events occur in real life. I meet certain people on twitter. And here I am. Not wanting to be with anyone else.
My mom is sick. And that's been hard and it's making me realize that I need to focus on her. Not on me.
My youngin' really wants to see me tomorrow. But I don't know. I do have an empty house to myself. And he knows this. So he of course wants to come over.
But what effect will this have on others?
But I digress.
Then things happen. Big events occur in real life. I meet certain people on twitter. And here I am. Not wanting to be with anyone else.
My mom is sick. And that's been hard and it's making me realize that I need to focus on her. Not on me.
My youngin' really wants to see me tomorrow. But I don't know. I do have an empty house to myself. And he knows this. So he of course wants to come over.
But what effect will this have on others?
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Crazy Bastard
Stalkers suck. Well this guy isn't truly stalking me since he, thank the fucking lord, doesn't know where I live or work.
Let's call him FCB (fucking crazy bastard). So meet him online a few months ago. We hit it off. Great guy. Sends me pics and he's hot - bonus. We talk, he gets psycho and possessive. I say "get lost". He apolgized and sucked me back in. This happens a few times. Eventually we meet. Well guess what?!?! The pics he sent were NOT him!
Now I ummm kinda still fucked him. What can I say, I was horny! But HUGE mistake! I dump him afterwards and he cries. And cries. And cries
I know I'm a good catch, but come on! I block him from MSN. And I thought that was it.
About a month ago, I'm chatting with a new guy online. Seems nice enough. I asked for a pic, told him I was burned once. Well he says he will send one. But never does. We talk still for a bit. One day he tells me of his fantasy that he insists I am the person to help him out. His fantasy is to meet in a hotel room, blind folded. And the more I talk to this guy I realize he sounds like FCB. So I say "hell no!". That was just way too creepy to even fathom since I know it would be FCB!
Creepy
Now there are a few people I'd choose to stalk me
You know who you are ;)
Let's call him FCB (fucking crazy bastard). So meet him online a few months ago. We hit it off. Great guy. Sends me pics and he's hot - bonus. We talk, he gets psycho and possessive. I say "get lost". He apolgized and sucked me back in. This happens a few times. Eventually we meet. Well guess what?!?! The pics he sent were NOT him!
Now I ummm kinda still fucked him. What can I say, I was horny! But HUGE mistake! I dump him afterwards and he cries. And cries. And cries
I know I'm a good catch, but come on! I block him from MSN. And I thought that was it.
About a month ago, I'm chatting with a new guy online. Seems nice enough. I asked for a pic, told him I was burned once. Well he says he will send one. But never does. We talk still for a bit. One day he tells me of his fantasy that he insists I am the person to help him out. His fantasy is to meet in a hotel room, blind folded. And the more I talk to this guy I realize he sounds like FCB. So I say "hell no!". That was just way too creepy to even fathom since I know it would be FCB!
Creepy
Now there are a few people I'd choose to stalk me
You know who you are ;)
All I Can Say...
It truly sucks when you meet an incredible person who lives so far away.
Oh and I'll be keeping the morose tweets to a minimum ;).
Oh and I'll be keeping the morose tweets to a minimum ;).
My New Favourite Quote
Post by the @quotewhore:
If shes amazing, she wont be easy.
If shes easy, she wont be amazing.
If shes worth it, you wont give up.
If you give up, you're not worthy.
Love it!! Remember that one boys and girls! It's the truth!
I, for one, am worth it. If I do say so myself ;)
If shes amazing, she wont be easy.
If shes easy, she wont be amazing.
If shes worth it, you wont give up.
If you give up, you're not worthy.
Love it!! Remember that one boys and girls! It's the truth!
I, for one, am worth it. If I do say so myself ;)
What To Do...
So I just get this email from A, the wrong email guy:
"Hey missed hearing from ya today. Hope ya still wanna get in my pants. ".
Turns out he lives like an hour or so away from me. Small world.
And this guy I slept with a year ago, sends me this today:
"just thought I would let you know you have an incredible body - have a nice day. Oh and one day I hope to ravage you again".
Nice for an attention whore like me...
"Hey missed hearing from ya today. Hope ya still wanna get in my pants. ".
Turns out he lives like an hour or so away from me. Small world.
And this guy I slept with a year ago, sends me this today:
"just thought I would let you know you have an incredible body - have a nice day. Oh and one day I hope to ravage you again".
Nice for an attention whore like me...
Still Embarrassed...
Funny story. So met this guy. I'll call him J. We chatted for a bit. He asked me to send him pics. So I did... And in these pictures I was ..ahem... not fully clothed. You twitter people have seen these pics btw ;).
So J tells me he didn't get the pics. Hmmm... so I check and realize I sent the pic to the wrong email address. I fixed it and re-sent the pics to J. He was quite pleased by them.
A day later, I get the following emails from the person at the wrong address:
number 1:
"I'd appreciate if you didn't send this smut to me. You're unattractive and I have a wife. I've forwarded these to everyone my list just incase everyone we know wants to know what you're up to."
So I respond, totally embarrassed (and insulted! LOL!), apologizing profusely.
He responds by:
"Sorry if I came off rude. Just can't get those pictures at this email. Now xxxx@aol.com is another story. Lol. i did not forward them for your privacy".
Sure enough, I get email from his "other" account and he hasn't stopped emailing me since, telling me how hot I am, wanting more pics, etc etc.
At least he (we will call him A), boosted my ego ;). Yes, I'm at attention whore. :)
So J tells me he didn't get the pics. Hmmm... so I check and realize I sent the pic to the wrong email address. I fixed it and re-sent the pics to J. He was quite pleased by them.
A day later, I get the following emails from the person at the wrong address:
number 1:
"I'd appreciate if you didn't send this smut to me. You're unattractive and I have a wife. I've forwarded these to everyone my list just incase everyone we know wants to know what you're up to."
So I respond, totally embarrassed (and insulted! LOL!), apologizing profusely.
He responds by:
"Sorry if I came off rude. Just can't get those pictures at this email. Now xxxx@aol.com is another story. Lol. i did not forward them for your privacy".
Sure enough, I get email from his "other" account and he hasn't stopped emailing me since, telling me how hot I am, wanting more pics, etc etc.
At least he (we will call him A), boosted my ego ;). Yes, I'm at attention whore. :)
To Cheat or Not To Cheat...
In my previous post, I touched on this topic, how I never believed I could cheat.
I truly believe that people cannot judge cheaters until they've been in the situation. I don't think I'm a bad person at all for doing what I've done.
I've tried so hard to work on my marriage, to find that spark again. To find the excitement. My husband loves to have sex with me, but the last thing on his mind is pleasing me. He cums in about 30 seconds and we're done. No foreplay.
And to talk to him about this? I can't. He's suspected me of cheating in the past. I feel that if I tell him what I want, what I need in the bedroom, he is going to wonder where these thoughts came from and it will be cemented in his mind that I did cheat.
I truly don't want to hurt him. I can't hurt him. It would devestate him. And me, for hurting him.
And I've thought about leaving. I have. We've discussed it and he has practically begged me to stay. And we have a special needs child, so the thought of breaking up our family for him, just kills me. And as I told my "platonic separated by the Atlantic friend" today, this is also selfish of me. Because raising him alone 50% of the time would be so hard and I can't imagine doing it on my own. So yes, I feel very selfish.
If I could just live my life this way, as I am, without him finding out, life would be good :).
A friend's husband cheated on her. She threw him out immediately. Which was ironic, since she was in love with a married man and would have given anything for him to pay attention to her. Eventually he did, they had a passionate affair. Her separated and her lover, married. She then realized that there are reasons why people cheat. She has now forgiven her husband and they are working on getting back together. Which is wonderful.
BUT I don't believe either one will stay monogamous. Once you've cheated once, I think it's much easier to cheat again, especially once they fall back in their own ways. I do hope with all my heart they are happy.
Ok - I apologize - this post was just a bunch of babbling. No real order to it and no real point.
I truly believe that people cannot judge cheaters until they've been in the situation. I don't think I'm a bad person at all for doing what I've done.
I've tried so hard to work on my marriage, to find that spark again. To find the excitement. My husband loves to have sex with me, but the last thing on his mind is pleasing me. He cums in about 30 seconds and we're done. No foreplay.
And to talk to him about this? I can't. He's suspected me of cheating in the past. I feel that if I tell him what I want, what I need in the bedroom, he is going to wonder where these thoughts came from and it will be cemented in his mind that I did cheat.
I truly don't want to hurt him. I can't hurt him. It would devestate him. And me, for hurting him.
And I've thought about leaving. I have. We've discussed it and he has practically begged me to stay. And we have a special needs child, so the thought of breaking up our family for him, just kills me. And as I told my "platonic separated by the Atlantic friend" today, this is also selfish of me. Because raising him alone 50% of the time would be so hard and I can't imagine doing it on my own. So yes, I feel very selfish.
If I could just live my life this way, as I am, without him finding out, life would be good :).
A friend's husband cheated on her. She threw him out immediately. Which was ironic, since she was in love with a married man and would have given anything for him to pay attention to her. Eventually he did, they had a passionate affair. Her separated and her lover, married. She then realized that there are reasons why people cheat. She has now forgiven her husband and they are working on getting back together. Which is wonderful.
BUT I don't believe either one will stay monogamous. Once you've cheated once, I think it's much easier to cheat again, especially once they fall back in their own ways. I do hope with all my heart they are happy.
Ok - I apologize - this post was just a bunch of babbling. No real order to it and no real point.
The constant pressure to blog...
Ok - I'm back. A special friend has encouraged me to keep it up. And probably won't lay off if I don't, so I'm back. Although his harassment is fun...
So I've been thinking back to where this Secret journey of mine began. I used to be a sweet, normal, innocent, monogamous girl. Now I'm just sweet and normal. I'm not innocent, nor am I monogamous. How my life has changed in three years.
Three years ago I never would have thought I would have cheated on my husband. Ever. I thought cheaters were horrible people. I truly did.
Until the day my hot co-worker moved cubicles and sat across from me. I always found him attractive and was thrilled he was moving to sit near me. I of course assumed there would be a lot of chatting and harmless flirting, but that was it, as he is also married with kids.
It wasn't. The feelings between us started immediately. We started hanging out immediately. Coffee, lunches, after work, working late together, coming in Saturdays (something I ALWAYS said I would NEVER do!). We were inseparable. We fell in love. We imagined our lives together. Things were wonderful. He was wonderful. We talked constantly when we weren't together. He made me feel so good, so wanted, so attractive. And the sex was fucking fantastic. To me, sex without emotion is just that - sex. Sex with emotion? WOW...
His penis was small. And no, that's not bitterness.. it's the truth. LOL! Poor guy. But he knew how to use his tongue. VERY well.
And of course it ended. It had to. We both knew it would. The guilt set in, on both of our parts. It seemed it was over as soon as it started.
And fucking someone in the workplace is NEVER a good idea. The awkwardness for probably a year and a 1/2 afterwards was not fun. Us trying it again over and over and it not working. But I've been free of him for probably a year now. And it feels fantastic.
It feels like it was all a dream.
Now in saying all that, the reason I am here, why I have continued on the anti-monogamous path is because of him. I've been looking to get that feeling back that he gave me. The feeling I don't get at home.
Have I got it back? I don't know. But I have had some fucking fantastic sex in the meantime!
So I've been thinking back to where this Secret journey of mine began. I used to be a sweet, normal, innocent, monogamous girl. Now I'm just sweet and normal. I'm not innocent, nor am I monogamous. How my life has changed in three years.
Three years ago I never would have thought I would have cheated on my husband. Ever. I thought cheaters were horrible people. I truly did.
Until the day my hot co-worker moved cubicles and sat across from me. I always found him attractive and was thrilled he was moving to sit near me. I of course assumed there would be a lot of chatting and harmless flirting, but that was it, as he is also married with kids.
It wasn't. The feelings between us started immediately. We started hanging out immediately. Coffee, lunches, after work, working late together, coming in Saturdays (something I ALWAYS said I would NEVER do!). We were inseparable. We fell in love. We imagined our lives together. Things were wonderful. He was wonderful. We talked constantly when we weren't together. He made me feel so good, so wanted, so attractive. And the sex was fucking fantastic. To me, sex without emotion is just that - sex. Sex with emotion? WOW...
His penis was small. And no, that's not bitterness.. it's the truth. LOL! Poor guy. But he knew how to use his tongue. VERY well.
And of course it ended. It had to. We both knew it would. The guilt set in, on both of our parts. It seemed it was over as soon as it started.
And fucking someone in the workplace is NEVER a good idea. The awkwardness for probably a year and a 1/2 afterwards was not fun. Us trying it again over and over and it not working. But I've been free of him for probably a year now. And it feels fantastic.
It feels like it was all a dream.
Now in saying all that, the reason I am here, why I have continued on the anti-monogamous path is because of him. I've been looking to get that feeling back that he gave me. The feeling I don't get at home.
Have I got it back? I don't know. But I have had some fucking fantastic sex in the meantime!
Monday, November 22, 2010
My First Post
Hmmm. So now I'm here. I've always wanted to do this. Blog that is. Actually, what am I saying, I have done it, on another blog. Three posts total. Then I got bored. And no one read it. But thanks to my Twitter friends, I should have people reading this. So that means I will have to keep up with it. And attempt to make it somewhat interesting.
I'm not sure what the point of my blog is yet. That I will have to ponder.
But thanks to @theofficewhore, here I am. And much encouragement from another very special person :).
I really should do some work though. I'm not sure my employer would appreciate me getting paid for blogging on company time. Although it will happen often. Because I'm a slacker.
So hi everyone and welcome to my ride ;P
I'm not sure what the point of my blog is yet. That I will have to ponder.
But thanks to @theofficewhore, here I am. And much encouragement from another very special person :).
I really should do some work though. I'm not sure my employer would appreciate me getting paid for blogging on company time. Although it will happen often. Because I'm a slacker.
So hi everyone and welcome to my ride ;P
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