The constant pressure to blog...

Ok - I'm back. A special friend has encouraged me to keep it up. And probably won't lay off if I don't, so I'm back. Although his harassment is fun...

So I've been thinking back to where this Secret journey of mine began. I used to be a sweet, normal, innocent, monogamous girl. Now I'm just sweet and normal. I'm not innocent, nor am I monogamous. How my life has changed in three years.

Three years ago I never would have thought I would have cheated on my husband. Ever. I thought cheaters were horrible people. I truly did.

Until the day my hot co-worker moved cubicles and sat across from me. I always found him attractive and was thrilled he was moving to sit near me. I of course assumed there would be a lot of chatting and harmless flirting, but that was it, as he is also married with kids.

It wasn't. The feelings between us started immediately. We started hanging out immediately. Coffee, lunches, after work, working late together, coming in Saturdays (something I ALWAYS said I would NEVER do!). We were inseparable. We fell in love. We imagined our lives together. Things were wonderful. He was wonderful. We talked constantly when we weren't together. He made me feel so good, so wanted, so attractive. And the sex was fucking fantastic. To me, sex without emotion is just that - sex. Sex with emotion? WOW...

His penis was small. And no, that's not bitterness.. it's the truth. LOL! Poor guy. But he knew how to use his tongue. VERY well.


And of course it ended. It had to. We both knew it would. The guilt set in, on both of our parts. It seemed it was over as soon as it started.

And fucking someone in the workplace is NEVER a good idea. The awkwardness for probably a year and a 1/2 afterwards was not fun. Us trying it again over and over and it not working. But I've been free of him for probably a year now. And it feels fantastic.

It feels like it was all a dream.

Now in saying all that, the reason I am here, why I have continued on the anti-monogamous path is because of him. I've been looking to get that feeling back that he gave me. The feeling I don't get at home.

Have I got it back? I don't know. But I have had some fucking fantastic sex in the meantime!